Giving

Well we have been fairly busy around here between J being gone for five-week and my parents and in-laws also away it's left me on my own.  I've babysat many days during this run for friends to help them out, I've had 2 very sick girls, celebrated a 3rd birthday, I've booked a surprise and I've explored a new chapter in our  life...... (Pre) school!

The surprise I planned is beyond exciting! It's for J's 30th birthday and I can't wait to spring this on him. Just not yet :) but I will say its for September when he has time off!!

April 1st peanut will be registered for preschool. I'm exploring a dance studio to take both girls to and I have bug in swimming with peanut on the wait list.  I may try to see if peanut can't get in then if I can make arrangements for care and take peanut another time.

Well I can't write much more now, but one day soon ill do a proper catch up. I'm just too tired tonight

Learning

So I don't have much to say really.  This month has been full of surprises, learning and working on staying positive.  I am learning more patience - both within a family situation but also with a 3 year old daughter.  I am learning how much influence I have over 2 little ones and am constantly trying to adjust my attitude to help not only myself, but them as well. 

I have been seeking spirituality lately which is something new for me.  I'm still not sure where I stand, but I do know I am waist deep trying to figure it all out.  I'm not sure what brought this one, and I'm not sure anything will come of it, but I do feel it is something I "need" to do.  Something inside me is stirring......

Within our community I have stepped up and stepped down with some commitments, and although I can feel some did not agree with my decision, I do feel I did what was right not only for me, but also for my family.  I cleared the air yesterday with one member, and I feel pretty good now.  As long as the situation doesn't stay awkward, then we're back to an enjoyable experience.

I'm happily completing little acts of kindness here and there.  This month we have made a hamper for Ronald McDonald House and delivered it (it included probably 30 items from their wish list), we made homemade soup and delivered it to a friend and her family, we sent a thank you gift to the nice local company who back bladed our driveway at no charge, we made cookies for a friend in exchange for cinnamon buns, we continue to sort clothing for Baby Blessings (a local charity that supports teen pregnancies), and we set up a birthday surprise for "daddy" while he was away.  These are the things I'm most proud of.  They remind me of a time when I first was dating J.  He was talking about a conversation with his father (when his father was sick) and how the only thing M wanted for J, was to "take care of people".  As J retold this story to me in detail, with tears in his eyes (and the only time I've ever seen him cry) I knew it was important to him.  So I am most proud because I know I am teaching this to the girls exactly the way he'd want me to and I'm helping fulfill his father's wish for our family.

Well I need to keep this short, so for now, I'll leave it at that. 

Whirlwind

Our life right now is a whirlwind..... of choice, of opportunities, and of decisions. 

But today's post is about something else.  What do you do when you like a mom, but not the influence her child has on yours? 

Now let me clarify - I think she's a great mom, and I enjoy her company, but whenever Peanut visits her, she comes home with a new attitude, one I don't appreciate.  I've noticed the little girl has this attitude, mostly towards her mom, but sometimes directly to Peanut and although I want to say something about how she addresses Peanut, I don't.  I feel some of the language she uses to Peanut is rude and needs to be corrected.  I think she has a really hard time sharing, and I don't think she plays very nicely. 

But the mom is in a tough situation.  She has a life similar to mine.  So, at what point do you cut off a friendship for the influence of your own child? I mean, Peanut will meet kids like this next year in preschool surely.  She might even end up as one (although I hope not!). Do I address it with her and risk offending her? (and truth be told, I'm sure I would)  Do I just correct Peanut after each visit?  Do I explain that although her mom may tolerate that behaviour, I absolutely do not.

Advice..... please!

Working Hard or Hardly Working?

This is a question I get asked all the time as a stay at home mom.  Okay maybe it's not worded quite like that, but the message is always the same.....

"So you don't work?"

"Don't you want your kids to interact with other kids?"

"I guess it was easier to choose to stay home because you didn't have a career before kids"

or my personal favourite..... "What do you do all day? I'd go crazy!"  Well on any given day I would agree that I am crazy, but not due to lack of things to do. 

So before you ask a SAHM why she chooses that option, please remember it is a choice.  One I made, but understand it is not for everyone.  One that although is right for me and my family, does not mean everyone could or should do it. 

We all make choices everyday.... what to eat, what time to wake up, to not use our turn signal in our vehicle, everything we do is a choice.  This is just another one that some make because to them it makes sense.  To them it feels right.  It doesn't make me less of a person or a better mom.  It just makes me.... well me. 

A little bit crazy ~updated~

I've been reading a lot lately, I've come across some interesting references.  The latest was in the book Fallout by Ellen Hopkins.  It is actually the third in a series, but I haven't read the first two.  It is written from the perspective of 3 children of the same meth addict although they live very different lives. (the first 2 in the series are written from the meth addicts perspective) One of the daughters talks about OCD, panic attacks and being "just a little bit crazy".  It got me thinking about myself and my own "little bit of crazy".

I've often eluded to my OCD, I've joked about my obsessions, mentioned my superstitions, but I'm not sure if I've ever really taken the time to let people understand although part of me is kidding, a larger part is not.

For as long as I can remember I've had little superstitions, but not what some might expect.  It's not the normal lucky rabbits foot, or saying "rabbit rabbit" on the first of the month to bring good luck all month. (Thanks D for that one, I still remember you telling me your dad did that every month when we were in grade 3) it's not avoiding the number 13, or not walking user ladders. (Although that does make me uncomfortable)

Mine center around objects.  Around random mundane things.  Logically I know luck isn't based on what hair elastic I use, or what pair of underwear I wear, but in my little bit of crazy mind, these things matter. 

It spreads like wild fire and enters other parts of my life.  I keep a cleaning schedule because it is an obsession I can't ignore.  Very rarely have I ever been able to turn this off, but having kids has helped it. I have had to let some things go, at least in the short term to still allow my kids to be kids, explore and play, but as soon as they are done with an activity, it is like something is not right in my world.  I need to clean it up.  I need to make it right again.

I noticed this most recently when my hubby J offered to help while we prepared to host Christmas dinner with family.  I knew I wasn't going to clean like crazy because in all reality I'd just need to do it again once everyone left, but still things needed to be freshened up. Joel laughed at me because what started with "I'm just going to clean the bathrooms" turned into a full out clean in some areas. But that's not what I noticed.  When I noticed my little bit of crazy start talking to me was when Joel offered to vacuum the downstairs.  It's something I can usually let Joel do, so I happily took him up on his offer.  Until I came downstairs.  I could feel the voice start talking.  I could tell my palms were getting sticky and I knew I had two choices. 

So how do you mess up vacuuming a room?  Well you don't really.  Except when I vacuum I use straight lines.  Our carpet it the type that the vacuum leaves marks, and I need those lines to be straight.  To be even.  To be present.  While J did vacuum his way, his way included random lines.  To him, as long as it was all done, who cared where he started and ended?! Except he forgot about the monster that lives inside of me.  I realized as I walked down the stairs and my immediate reaction was to re vacuum a just vacuumed floor that my crazy was talking too loudly.  It was time to take some time away, go back up stairs and not think about it.  Although it took EVERY piece of me not to redo something my hubby so sweetly did for me, it was hard. 

It is hard to put these feelings into words.  I've never had to before.  I'm not even sure if my own parents realize how I deal with these things on a daily basis.   J notices it and sometimes comments, but I try to let some feelings and urges simmer.  I have it easy from a lot of people, I don't wash my hands 17 times, but I do make sure the volume on the TV is on an even number (unless it is a, multiple of 5, then an exception is made, except for 5 itself).  I don't unlock and lock the doors over and over again, but I do wait for the garage door to close all the way before getting out of sight.  I don't count how many brush strokes I use daily to brush my hair, but I do keep track of certain clothing options that can not go together because of what might occur, underwear that I deem "bad luck", and sunglasses that have been thrown away because of the days outcome when I wore them.

It's funny because even though I know most people probably do not have these little habits in their life, I am finding it hard to recall them as I write.  I need to think really hard about the things I do because ultimately I do them because I feel that's the way it should be.

I don't really have an ending to this post, so I'll just leave it as here is a little insight into my life and hopefully you can better understand me as a person.

Grateful

Recently I read an interesting and somewhat offensive article about raising grateful children.  It got me thinking about how I raise my girls.  I teach them manners, yes, but so I show them to be grateful?  Am I a good role model?  Well according to the article only a bit.  (here's where I got offended)

I do my best to show the girls the art of being kind and doing kind things to and for others.  We have done little gestures like leave cookies or cupcakes that we made together at relatives doors, we've donated to our local food bank and hamper both home made and other food items that were in need.  When we have birthdays or Christmas we take as many toys that are received and coming into the home from our "old" toys and donate them to a shelter for women who are leaving abusive relationships.  We've done other gestures like surprise a family member with a clean house when we knew they needed a lift.  We volunteer our time when we can including sorting baby packages for crisis pregnancy families and helping with a local moms group.  We use our resources to spread love to others as best we can.  And in my case I can confidently say I think I'm successful at this.  I work hard, and I feel like my girls are not only polite, but get that giving is important.  If not financially then by gestures that can simply brighten someones day.

So why was I offended?  Well it talked about living frugally and teaching children to appreciate all they have without having anything flashy.  This as a family, we fail at.  Not because we want bigger and better, but because J lives in a room 4 weeks at a time.  A ROOM.  Not a small house, not a room with a private bathroom, A SINGLE ROOM.  He showers with others every day, he goes to the bathroom in a room full of men, he eats with many other people at his table.  This may or may not seem like a big deal to some, but if you knew my husband's personally and his true dislike for people (really there is no way to beat around the bush when it comes to this), you'd understand how hard this life is for him.  So why do it?!  He LOVES the work.  He starts talking about mining, the equipment, the guys, and you can see him, he's excited.  He really loves what he does.  But with that comes apart that he doesn't like, so when it came to buying a house he was fairly particular.  He wanted certain things contained in that house. Now it wasn't all him, I liked the house too.  Actually I was the original one to see it.  But I still feel like my kids can appreciate and be grateful living in the home they live in, watching the tv that is larger than it needs to be, playing outside in an over sized yard, and playing with more toys than anyone really needs.

Now will I let this article ruin my day, or change how I raise my kids? no.  But did it make me look on my life and realize I am doing something good with them.  Even something amazing.  i am teaching them not only to be poliet, and to be grateful, but to be kind and generous.  I am teaching them that we can enjoy what we have and still share with others.  We can help when we are called upon, and even sometimes when we are not.  I am teaching them responsibility, and I instill values that are important to me.  I passed along my need for clean, but that's okay. The girls know to clean up their toys before we go out, Big M makes her bed, and little M helps with laundry. 

I think I sometimes doubt myself, I doubt what I'm doing with my kids.  I doubt if I'm teaching them enough, or playing with them enough, but in the end I can honestly say I think I'm doing ok.  Who knows how they will turn out, but I'm happy with who they are today.

Time for a change!

So I've been thinking about this for awhile, but I think it's time for a blog change. I've decided to stop the focus on me, my life and my observations and refocus it on my recipes, the parties I host, the "crafty" side (or attempts anyways), and favourite products, ingredients, sites, etc.

So here we go!

Last night I hosted a dinner party for 6 plus 5 children. I made for an appetizer a butter puff pastry filled with Brie and brown sugar. This is one of the easiest recipes to make, and could easily be a dessert! Confession: I totally bought the butter puff pastry :) I just cut the pastry, then put them in mini muffin tins, put a piece of Brie and a good topping of brown sugar. I baked then in a 350 degree oven until cheese was melted, bubbling and pastry was golden brown!

For dinner I made Greek chicken served over a Greek pasta. This is also super easy and has been adapted from a recipe an old boyfriends mom found in a men's health magazine. First i start the water boiling for the pasta then I cube the chicken, and fry it in sun dried tomato oil and Greek seasoning. The sun dried tomato oil is just from the jar of oil packed sliced sun dried tomatoes that I will later use in the vegetable mix. Once it's cooked I set it aside. Usually by then the water is boiling and I start the pasta. I had already prepped the veggies, so in a wok, I fried multicoloured sweet peppers, onions, black olives (sliced and drained), roasted red peppers (found in a jar, drained and sliced), mushrooms, marinated artichokes and the sun dried tomatoes. I continue to heat this until the onion is cooked. Pasta is usually ready by now, so I strain it and put it in the serving bowl. I then top it with my vegetable mix and feta (lots cause I love feta!). I serve this family style cause I think it works well like that. The pasta doesn't have a sauce per say, but the vegetables have so much flavour, that it really doesn't need it - plus why add the calories if you don't need to?! The kids ate the pasta, some with topping, some just plain, and it worked well to accommodate everyone. (some kids ate whatever their parents brought for them)

I also took a loaf of French bread, sliced it, buttered it, seasoned it with Greek seasoning, and topped it with cheese. Then I tossed a quick Greek salad and we were set! I use the clubhouse Greek seasoning which is a great mix and packed full of flavour.

Tonight I am making a dinner for my mother in laws birthday. We decided on rack of lamb seasoned with garlic and rosemary to remind her of when their family used to raise and eat a lot of lamb. One day I will find someone local to supply us with lamb at a more reasonable price, but for today it was New Zealand lamb.

I decided to make a simple Caesar salad and steamed asparagus to side this. Then in the crockpot I sliced a pound of bacon, added small potatoes and a package of ranch seasoning, mixed it all together and let that cook down. There is no liquid in this because as the bacon cooks, it releases fat which the potatoes absorb and cook in.  All in all, real simple. (Thank you Pinterest!) Then because I will not eat the lamb and would like more than just sides for dinner, I made a mushroom soup from a cookbook I received as a gift for my wedding. It has a lot of gourmet recipes, so I don't use it often but when I do they are always great! I sliced 2 lbs of cremini mushrooms (which are mini portabellas if you're wondering) and sautéed that with a little butter. As they softened, I added one chopped white onion and salt and pepper. As they began to soften, I added some white wine. I had some left in the fridge from our company yesterday so it was probably about 2 cups. That absorbed and I added 2 tablespoons of flour, 1 cup heavy cream and 2 cups vegetable stock. Then I took out about 2 cups of the soup and blended it with some lemon juice and thyme. Once it was a thick purée, I added it back and let it simmer most of the day. I will serve this with a toasted baguette topped with Brie. I wanted to add another side, so I sliced tomatoes, seasoned them with vegetable seasoning, topped them with Kraft shredded Parmesan cheese and baked them for about 15 minutes until the Parmesan was melted. It's a simple side that adds some nice color to a plate. 

For dessert since my mother in law does not eat chocolate, and the birthday cake recipe in the themed cookbook was for a chocolate fudge cake, I found a recipe for poached pears. I'm changing it a bit as I don't want to serve it crazy fancy, and I'd like it to be more of a topping for the ice cream so I will dice the pears. They will be sautéed with cinnamon, apple cider, nutmeg, and brown sugar. Once they are cooked down, I will make a homemade caramel spiced with cinnamon and a hint of cayenne.  This will then be served warm over the vanilla ice cream and pears. (The original recipe has the pears served whole and cold, with lemon sorbet)

Whenever J is home I do some "deep cleaning" that I just cant do when he is away. In the past it has always focused on the girls closets.  Packing away the outgrown and out of season, labelling the bin, and adding it to storage, while hanging up all of the new clothes that fit or will fit soon. 

Today I pulled in a ladder and cleaned above every single door frame upstairs as well as washed the inside of every upstairs window.  This may seem like not a big deal, but the house still has drywall dust from being built above the door frames and it really was time this was done!  I had J move the ladder downstairs and tomorrow the basement will get the same treatment.

Often I get asked about how I keep my house clean, or organized, and one of my favourite tips is using daylight savings as a reminder to do things you don't normally do in your routine.  In this case, I used "fall behind" as cleaning all my horizontals.  Come "spring ahead" I will clean all the verticals (including the walls).  The baseboards are still on the to do list but likely that will get done slowly as J's time home is quickly coming to a close.  I think I will just have to tackle these once room at a time to make sure they get done in the next couple of weeks.

On another cleaning note, I found a "recipe" for homemade shower cleaner on Pinterest that was made simply with vinegar and dawn dish soap. I made this before J got home, placed it in a spray bottle and headed into the 2 bathrooms we use to try it out.  Seriously, this was one of the toughest cleaners I've seen!  I often struggle with the shower as not a lot of cleaning products can cut the soap scrum.  When you have 2 little ones who are always bathing, it's important to make sure the product(s) you are using actually get this done.  So, although the vinegar/soap mix doesn't smell great (actually, I make sure to run the bathroom fan as it's quite strong smelling) it really works well!

Anyways, that's this weeks entry! Hope the new format works out. :)