Out of place......

Warning about this post: it's not meant to offend anyone. It is simple observations of my daily life. I am not trying to complain or put down others, just point out mere differences. If you at okay readi g this with an open mind and not interested in judging, please continue. Otherwise, I think you should skip this post. I went to the same school for 12 years. when I entered as a shy (yes I was shy at one point!) scared little girl with glasses to my grade 1 classroom I would have no idea how many of these other scared little girls would become lifelong friends. many of them have been friends with me for over 20 years! I attended a friends wedding yesterday of one of these school friends. As the maid of honor (also a lifelong friend) gave her speech I felt like we were right out of high school again and nothing in our lives had changed..... Except everything in our lives has changed. There were many of our other school friends there, many whom I was seated with for the evening that I haven't seen in years. Yesterday I was reminded why. As I near 30 I believe it is time to grow up. We are not 18 anymore and I'm quite happy that we're not. The days of drama and drinking are behind me and my focus (and love) is diapers and discovery. So while I sat at a table where I was the only mom, the only woman without a career (that pays money), an the only one who planned to leave before 11pm, I noticed a huge gap. A gap that I just couldn't avoid - I couldnt pretend it didn't exist and fool myself into believing we were right out of high school and we still have something in common. Now don't get me wrong, half of my table was great. Although one still lives at home and has a long term bf (8years i think!), and one just bought her first house with her bf, I felt connected to these ladies. They didn't judge my relationship with J (or question why he is gone), they didn't make me feel ridiculous for leaving early to come home to my babies, and they found common ground by talking by random life events. However, the other half of my table was...... Mind blowing. Beside me sat a girl who I spent every weekend with in high school, countless hours on the phone with and even wrote my grade 12 farewell message in the year book. As she sat there and discussed the events (or those that she could remember) of her night before, I couldn't help feeling really out of place. We have nothing in common anymore...... This week also involved a playdate with a friend from high school who I was never close with. We got along but just ran in different circles. She now lives in California with her husband and 2.5 year old. She was in town visiting and called me up. I'm thankful she did! It was a great afternoon spent outside at Assiniboine park, we walked the gardens with our kids talking about how we feel out of place sometimes in a sea of friends who went onto impressive career orientated lives. But we also connected over our natural methods of parenting. Now she is more of a hippie than I, but we had many similar views. It was nice to let the kids play at the nature park, but also fun to see her now. If only she lived closer I'm sure she would be a weekly playdate for us. I'm excited for wedding season to be over. To go back to spending my days focused on my babies and to again not see some of these ladies for years. While I say that, I also hope I have reconnected with a few and can continue t stay on touch even if we don't see each other much. Life has many paths and each person chooses what they feel is right for them, but the more time I spend with "the other side", the more thankful I am for the life I have. J and I have ups and downs, and sometimes I have no idea if he's being spontaneous or has been planning things for awhile before springing them on me, but he really is my best friend. He is supportive and level headed, he's strong, hard working, funny, sometimes a jerk, good looking, and honest. He is the most loyal person I know and I wouldnt trade him for anything! Obviously the girls are my world, and I could write a whole post on how great I believe they are (as every parent could of their own) but I won't today. I just look at them and know I have made the right choice for me. This week j comes home and Saturday is his surprise party. Since it looks like he will only be home for 5 days, we will likely go north to visit him during his run. Well that's it for today, enjoy ~