Grateful

Recently I read an interesting and somewhat offensive article about raising grateful children.  It got me thinking about how I raise my girls.  I teach them manners, yes, but so I show them to be grateful?  Am I a good role model?  Well according to the article only a bit.  (here's where I got offended)

I do my best to show the girls the art of being kind and doing kind things to and for others.  We have done little gestures like leave cookies or cupcakes that we made together at relatives doors, we've donated to our local food bank and hamper both home made and other food items that were in need.  When we have birthdays or Christmas we take as many toys that are received and coming into the home from our "old" toys and donate them to a shelter for women who are leaving abusive relationships.  We've done other gestures like surprise a family member with a clean house when we knew they needed a lift.  We volunteer our time when we can including sorting baby packages for crisis pregnancy families and helping with a local moms group.  We use our resources to spread love to others as best we can.  And in my case I can confidently say I think I'm successful at this.  I work hard, and I feel like my girls are not only polite, but get that giving is important.  If not financially then by gestures that can simply brighten someones day.

So why was I offended?  Well it talked about living frugally and teaching children to appreciate all they have without having anything flashy.  This as a family, we fail at.  Not because we want bigger and better, but because J lives in a room 4 weeks at a time.  A ROOM.  Not a small house, not a room with a private bathroom, A SINGLE ROOM.  He showers with others every day, he goes to the bathroom in a room full of men, he eats with many other people at his table.  This may or may not seem like a big deal to some, but if you knew my husband's personally and his true dislike for people (really there is no way to beat around the bush when it comes to this), you'd understand how hard this life is for him.  So why do it?!  He LOVES the work.  He starts talking about mining, the equipment, the guys, and you can see him, he's excited.  He really loves what he does.  But with that comes apart that he doesn't like, so when it came to buying a house he was fairly particular.  He wanted certain things contained in that house. Now it wasn't all him, I liked the house too.  Actually I was the original one to see it.  But I still feel like my kids can appreciate and be grateful living in the home they live in, watching the tv that is larger than it needs to be, playing outside in an over sized yard, and playing with more toys than anyone really needs.

Now will I let this article ruin my day, or change how I raise my kids? no.  But did it make me look on my life and realize I am doing something good with them.  Even something amazing.  i am teaching them not only to be poliet, and to be grateful, but to be kind and generous.  I am teaching them that we can enjoy what we have and still share with others.  We can help when we are called upon, and even sometimes when we are not.  I am teaching them responsibility, and I instill values that are important to me.  I passed along my need for clean, but that's okay. The girls know to clean up their toys before we go out, Big M makes her bed, and little M helps with laundry. 

I think I sometimes doubt myself, I doubt what I'm doing with my kids.  I doubt if I'm teaching them enough, or playing with them enough, but in the end I can honestly say I think I'm doing ok.  Who knows how they will turn out, but I'm happy with who they are today.