Identity

Who am I?

I have thought about this more and more in the past few months and it's time to change my identity. I have been "just a mom" for so long I kind of felt lost as a person. When I returned to work last time, I knew it was only until I became a mom again (5 months) so it has been 3 years without feeling like I had some greater purpose than producing and raising children. I am not saying it is not worthy or that I don't enjoy it. I do. I really really do, but I also wanted something for me besides that. I want to be a good example for my girls. I want them to be proud of me, and see something in me that they want for themselves.  I set goals on here about a month ago and I am on my road to achieving them - or at least trying to.

In high school I was an athlete but as my life brought me to different areas and in different groups of people, I lost that. I missed being fit. I missed the feeling of belonging to a team and I missed my body. So I set some fitness goals. One was to lose 60 lbs - well I am down 22lbs and 21 inches. I go to the gym 4 days a week, and will work towards 5 in the next couple of weeks. I will be signing the girls up for swimming Saturday mornings. I have looked into a baby stroller fitness here in Niverville and will likely sign up for that in April.

I wanted to run a marathon. I have signed up for a class to teach me how to train for a marathon and get me out running with peers working towards the same goal. (accountability is key for me.... left to my own I could easily see this failing) By fall I plan to register (if not sooner depending how training is going) and complete my first marathon in 2013. (location to be determined) Originally I thought I would train for a 1/2, but I think all in is where I'm headed these days.

I also wanted to complete my BA. Well I will bring U of W my marriage certificate on Thursday once J is home and then wait to hear if I have been accepted. This goal is one that will take a lot of time, but I have to start somewhere.

I wanted to travel to NYC for my 30th. I will stop at the bank this week and get a cheque for an account we do not have access to. I will then give it to Joel to submit to payroll and request he set a % that gets deposited to that account. We will not see it until Joel turns 30 and needs money to raft the grand canyon. (yes our trips are totally different)

So here's where I'm at. I'm feeling great these days. My confidence is back and I'm feeling lucky. I'm lucky to be able to have the resources to work towards these goals, I'm lucky to have the support from my family, especially my hubby, and I'm lucky to have kids as motivation. Having kids makes you want to be a better person. It makes you realize you would do ANYTHING for someone else and not blink. If I focus on these goals on not only what they do for me, but also what they teach my girls, I know I will achieve them - but wishing me luck never hurt ;)