Yep, it's true....

Yep, it's true, Mika misses her daddy! It is made clear when the first night when I listened to heartbreaking hopeful cries of "da da" while pointing at her bedroom door, followed by endless (or what feel like endless) sleepless nights - for both of us!  This has created a whole separation anxiety problem that is already so common for this age group.  So what am I doing about it? Surviving!  How? By doing something I thought I wouldn't do again.... I brought Mika into our bed.  Ok, so I've only done it once - last night at about 3am, but I could tell the night was headed in the same direction as the previous and quite frankly I was just too tired to care.  She was waking every hour (literally I could time it)

I have read a lot about sleep since Mika was about 3 months old, trying different suggestions from various sources but she just hasn't mastered this sleep thing.  Staying positive we have made a few milestones which our family is proud of. She went from only sleeping in her swing to in her bed. (this was a long time ago, but it was a big deal) She went from crying for what felt like hours when she was put into her crib, to just going to sleep. She went from a really inconsistent nap/bedtime schedule to a solid one that works for our family.  She went from an early bedtime to a later one which allows a little more time in the morning for mommy to sleep.  So we have made improvements.  

I would love her to sleep longer, but she is little.  Her world is changed every 4 weeks and then again in 2 weeks. (repeat continuously) She doesn't have a lot to depend on in terms of helping that separation anxiety and although "momma" tries to comfort her, the nights following Joel's departure are just terrible. I wish she was old enough to follow a calendar, to cross days off, or even just understand that "dada" will be home again, but she's just too small.

Of course this affects other things too.  Her attitude the day he leaves is always cranky and tests my patience.  I have told Joel repeatedly that my biggest lesson in having children so close together will be patience. I know there will be ups and downs and I am fully prepared for at least a few mental breakdowns. (from both myself and Mika)

Onto more positive and exciting things - we are 5 weeks from our due date!  This terrifies me and makes me happy all at the same time.  If "Bug" will wait, Joel is scheduled to be home when I hit 39 weeks pregnant. Mika was born at 39+1, and if my midwives experience is any indication, it should be close.  (she keeps telling me, if you were early with the first, be prepared to be early with the second. However this is of course no guarantee. Bug will do whatever they want)

We had a midwife appointment on Wednesday. (it was scheduled for Monday which Joel would have been able to attend but after being in the delivery room all night with another mom, the midwife called to reschedule) All went well, nothing exciting to report.  Head is still down, I measured on target, hb was 142bpm, and my blood pressure was again 100/60. (it has been this for the last 4 visits and has only varied twice - once to 102/60 and once to 110/60)  I did the GBS test and will get the results in 2 weeks. 

I do have a backup plan in case Bug decides to come early.  Obviously I will call Joel right away, but while he drives from Bissett to Wpg, my bestie from grade 1 has agreed to be my "on call" partner.  Dana and I were friends from when I started at BH in grade one. I have great memories of Dana and I from junior, middle and senior school, and I know she is the positive and comforting support I would need if Joel couldn't be there.  Dana is calm and encouraging and I am comfortable with her.

This weekend I am getting the new stroller and we will finally be ready for "Bug". I went into Lux for Sprouts on Corydon yesterday and started talking to one of the girls about double strollers.  I had the one I wanted picked out for some time now (I did A TON of research on them, reading reviews, comparing styles, safety, etc.) and was really prepared to go in there, order it, and pick it up 2 weeks later.  That all changed once we started talking.  She made me really think about a double stroller and why I want(ed) one. She explained how it may seem like the only option or practical for when the baby first arrives, but what happens when Mika is 3 and "Bug" is 1.5? Would I still need a double - likely not.  she told me about the doorway issue....super common in double strollers, but hey, what can you do i thought?! Well what you can do is purchase a new single stroller with a toddler seat attachment.  There are some down sides to this option too, but for long term this plan seems much more realistic. 

Everything else has been good. I'm tired and huge, but love watching Bug move.  I get a weird feeling that sends shivers down my spine when (s)he twists these days as there is not a lot of room there.  I had a dream (twice now) that we were having a boy.  I would be totally shocked, but you never know..... For now we will just wait for Bug's arrival and countdown until Joel is back home.