My smiles today <3

I love watching siblings together!

I'll admit, I cried.....

I have never been "connected" to breastfeeding.  It was something I wanted to do for the benefits to my girls, but I was never "into" it.  I read an article today about extended breastfeeding. (breastfeeding past the first year) I never and I mean NEVER even considered this with Peanut or Bug.  I had a lot of the same feelings as the mom who wrote the article ~ "If they can ask for it, they're too old." 

However as I read her story and how her thoughts and opinions changed, I cried. She talked about the special bond it created, the love your child has for you while they look up and nurse.  She talked about how it was a different relationship with the second child, less time to bond, and more of a duty. But still she tried to make it special, make it that child's mommy time.  Special cuddles just for them. 

She then talked about how her 3rd child (18 months) is currently still nursing, but that she thinks it might be coming to an end.  And how she mourned the end of that relationship.  How this was her last baby and this was the last "baby" thing her little one would do.  It made me think about my own family.  How many times have I spent puttering on my phone or watched TV, or had my attention anywhere but on my precious child at the time.  How many times did I truly take the time to appreciate those little coos and noises they each made while they fed?

Although I am not sure Bug will be our last child, she might be. This breaks my heart in a lot of ways.  I never really put it together that this might be my last baby.  That when Bug weans from breastfeeding, it could be the last time I ever experience that with a child.  Did I while pregnant, wishing for the last month to be over, ever really think that this would be the last kick I felt?

I know how fast the last 18 months have gone by with Peanut, how much she has changed, learned, grown, and developed physically, mentally and emotionally. She really is her own little person with feelings, opinions and her own personality.  Am I really taking the time each day to appreciate Bug, as she develops from my little baby into her own person? It's time to go cuddle with my little one before she gets too old to want to, but for all the mommys and mommy-to-bes out there that read this, ask yourself - Are you really appreciating the present?

My Love List.....

After a talk with a friend (a much older and wiser friend), I have been really grateful these days and here are a few reasons why.......

• I have 2 beautiful healthy girls that make me laugh everyday
• I have a selfless husband who works hard for his family, is a great provider, a loyal partner, honest, smart, funny, sexy, and truly my best friend
• I have a family who helps me in so many ways; inviting me for dinner, watching the girls, lending me vehicles, coming with me on errands, fixing things around the house, driving a distance for a lunch visit, etc. They probably don't know how much I appreciate them, but I do!
• I have a home with a yard that keeps me warm in the winter and cool in the summer, it keeps me dry and safe and although I don't love everything about my home, it is more than a lot of people have
• I have friends that I have been friends with all my life (Ms. Perrier), friends since grade 1 (Mrs. K and Mrs. S), and friends I have met along the way to where I am now. They also probably don't know how much I love them
• J and I are able to do a lot for our kids including enrolling them into activities and creating activities at home like edible paint and play dough

J and I have set a few goals for the next year and I'm excited to see how they play out. We couldn't be happier or luckier to have found each other and start a new family together, thanks monkey for everything!

As for my friend who inspired this post ~ R, you are one of a kind. Your stories not only amuse me, but help me appreciate everything I have and everything I've been given. I miss our baseball games together, but will always hold those memories close.

Date Night

Last night Mika went for a sleep over with grams and grumpa. Although she had a bad night, Joel and I had a wonderful one. We walked up to Safeway and rented a movie, came home and just relaxed for awhile. We watched the movie Dilemma then went to bed. 7 hours later I woke up to feed Maddy Cakes, and went back to bed for another few hours. This morning I woke up and did a little yoga while Maddy played under her mat. We went to return the movie and headed to pick up Mika. Both Barb and I needed a few things from the grocery store so we walked up together to Extra Foods. Mika is now down for a nap and Maddy and I are headed out to get J and Grumpa some beer.  They are building the deck this morning and we will be having a BBQ on it this evening. Life is good ~

Got me thinking....

Recently I found out a (distant) friend has cancer. She is 27 years old. She has a 2 year old daughter. This terrifies me.

Her treatment is very aggressive. And through all of this, she is the most positive person explaining that she could be way worse. I've been thinking about it all night and I just can't shake it. My thoughts and prayers are with her and her family ~

Vegetarian

I'm back to eating vegetarian again and have been for a couple of weeks. I do this for a few reasons, but mostly because I just feel like I have more energy when I am not eating meat. Lately the thought of eating something with eyes has made me want to throw up, so it's an easy transition for me. I don't drink milk, however I still eat things that contain milk, eggs and cheese. (therefore I'm not vegan) So far it's been easy, although while J is home it means making 2 meals.  One meat heavy and one for me which I don't mind as long as he does the dishes. :)

So after the comment I faced the other day I have really started to think about my goals and how I want to achieve them. I have already started to make some small changes, but ones I know will make a big difference. For example... I am not drinking pop anymore. (exception was last night when I had a Slurpee while out for dinner with the Funks) Last time I stopped drinking pop was for a "biggest loser" competition at work. I was 0.2lbs from winning and lost to the only man in the competition, so I was super proud of myself. I've also joined a stroller fitness and boot camp that will be 3 days a week. It is only for 4 weeks, but a good intro to see if I want to join the fall session.  I like the idea of it since both my kids can come and I don't need to try and find a sitter.

J is working on the yard today - I took the liberty of ordering the dirt this morning so he had to work. So today will be a peaceful day at my moms with the girls.