A New Light

so this post was supposed to come out on Thursday or Friday, but I was having computer trouble so here it is....

Have you ever woke up and instantly felt better?  Nothing about the situation had changed, and yet for some reason whether it be a good sleep, a talk with your best friend, or just waking up with a new attitude has made the situation instantly better?  I had a long talk with my best friend and hubby yesterday and expressed a lot of what I was feeling.  I feel like we have a plan and are finally on the same page.  I felt heard, I felt loved, I felt accepted and I felt understood.  It was the first time since he has been home.  We talked about him being away and how that will work.  How our family dynamic will change.  How it changes and will continue to change when he comes home.  We talked about the pros and cons of him working away.  We talked about what we both want out of the experience.  Miners, similar to other trades where one half of the team leaves for a period of time have a very high divorce rate which scares me.  I wanted my fears heard.  I needed reassurance.  I wanted to make sure we make time for each other even though his time home will be short.  I want to feel like a priority.  I wanted to make sure he understood that although he can not see his kids for 4 weeks at a time, I only see the kids for 4 weeks at a time, and would love to have just one night with him.  It is hard as we both come from 2 experiences while he is away, but we need to understand each other and make sure both of our needs are met.  Of course this will be easier when I am not working as we will have the day to also fit in time together.

It looks like Joel's schedule might be 2 weeks on leaving Tuesday then 2 weeks home before a 4 week shift away.  If this is the case (he should know today), he will be home May 3 - 17 then not home again until June 14.  Since my due date is June 15, this could work out really well or not.... Being only a few hours away is one thing, but if labor starts when he has already entered the mine it adds a significant amount of time to his travel.  It means calling the company, having them radio to him, pack up his tools and put them in the job box, he has to travel out of the mine, enter the dry to shower and change, head back to camp to grab whatever he needs, and then be on the road.  Assuming San Gold/Cementation radios right away, it probably adds at least an hour to his trip.  We are attending a birthing again class this weekend where we will address fears.  Of course this will be one of my biggest.  Not that Joel will miss the birth, because I'm confident he can make it to the hospital in time for actual delivery, but Joel was a huge support and calming influence on me during my last labour.  I know my birthing experience would have been completely different had he not been there.  I was able to deliver "naturally" and that will be my goal this time.  I just hope Joel only misses the early labor and makes it in time for active labor.

I do have other fears about labor and delivery, but I'll address those in class.  It is tonight for 2 hours, then tomorrow all day. I'm looking forward to it, even if Joel is not.

Well, better get back to work so for now, enjoy ~