Believe

“Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.” Author Unknown

With J's time coming to a close, his spirit to find us a place is really lost. He started the journey so positive that he could find something and that something would work out. Yesterday he was frustrated, but today he had lost all hope.

I feel for him, he so badly wants us to be out there with him, and we want to be there too, but finding a place to rent in a small community can be hard. We have many advantages that help, but we are also a family of 4 with 2 small kids. Not everyone is pumped about opening up their homes to us. I understand. Kids spill things, they break things, they are kids. A few of the houses would be for sale while we rented them so I understand their reservations. I am a fairly clean person, but people there do not know me. I'm sure they hear "mother of a 19 month old and 4 month old" and worry that our house may be chaotic. I've seen people without kids that live in more of a mess than we do, but people don't understand that isn't me.

I tried to cheer J up tonight, but it seemed near impossible. I told him if it didn't work for November/December, it might for the spring. I think he really had his hopes set on having a plan before coming home and the unknown is hard. He knows we are relying on him, and the pressure of that can't be easy. I have a plan though, we will pack one pod to storage and a smaller one that can easily be moved up there once we find a place. They can deliver it and it will include all the things we are living with now - minimal but functional. 

He will be home soon and then he will feel better. He will wake up to Bug and Peanut's smiles and the world will be right again and his hope will be restored. I just wish we could help him see that something will work out, we just don't know when yet.

We jumped in.....

So our house has been conditionally sold and a deadline of Nov.15 has been set for the sale of their home & financing. They were pre-approved so we are basically just waiting on their home to have a clean offer.

That being said we also put a hold on a lot to build our home! We will write the conditional offer when J is home next week. I'm excited, relieved and stressed, but still feel good and positive about the whole thing.

J is going to look for a place to rent where he works as he plans on picking up some extra weeks. Should know in a few days if that option would work, but so far it isn't looking good.  As you can imagine there isn't a huge demand for places up there. 

I think being out there would be fun.... yes I won't know anyone, yes it is a small town, yes it will mean not seeing my friends/family as much, yes it will mean living with minimal everything BUT it will mean seeing J every night, it will mean a bigger down payment on the house, and it will mean the kids & I will learn to do a lot of different things for fun! I think it could really be a good experience for all of us. I know J is trying hard to figure it out because he will get pretty down if he can't see us as much.

If nothing else, we can pay the $150 per night for the hotel up there. J says it is a dive and I'm a little leery to bring 2 kids there if J says it's a dump because let's be honest, J's standards and my standards are 2 totally different things!

Of course we always have the plan of staying with S & J who have kindly opened their home up to us for the month. It would be nice to spend that time with G and S, J works so although we will see him, not nearly the same as we will see the other 2.

Life has been hectically busy, between packing, visiting friends/family, doing things with the kids, and trying to get everything organized for donations, it seems for every one thing I cross off the "to do" list, I add 3! But J's parents did this, actually his mom because of a similar situation with M being away during a couple of their moves so I know it can get done. Wishing I had more time, but I know once J is home things will go a lot quicker.

That's all I've got for now, so here it is.

A little sad....

So I have been reflecting on the wonderful things this home has brought me.... besides the obvious of shelter and warmth, this is the first home we owned after barely living together, where J proposed to me, where we came home as husband and wife from a trip to AZ, it is where we shared our wedding story with many friends and family.  This is where we had 2 positive home pregnancy tests, it is where I was able to share those test results with J in a fun way, it was where our daughters were brought home to from the hospital. I spent hours in our fireplace room planning our wedding, dreaming of a baby and finally a second baby. This makes me a little sad to think that although those things will always be a memory, but no longer in our everyday life. This house has been good to us and I love all the wonderful things that have happened to us here. I hope it brings as much happiness to J & M as it has to us!

Sunday!

I can't wait for Sunday night, I get to share my bed with a wonderful handsome man ~ Come on Sunday!!

Slowly Going Crazy

J is out to kill me, I'm sure of it!

Ok not in a literal way, but more in a he drives me crazy way.  This time he has said one thing and then completely changed his mind and tells me he never thought that way in the first place! This time it was about the show home idea.... we had talked about purchasing it, but he hated the pillar and couldn't get passed that. Now he says he wants to revisit the home without the kids because "the pillar wasn't that bad"! AHHHH!

Life here has been good, we have a clean house which makes me happy. A clean house is a stress free house. It's pretty much the key to my heart which is why J working so much has it's bonuses. :)

Peanut is still getting up 2 times a night - midnight and 3am, almost like clock work so I know it is more routine than anything. Once J is home we will work on staying away one night and coming home to hopefully a new routine. (however I have said that before and just never followed through so we'll see)

Bug still is sleeping through the night - she is opposite Peanut - Peanut I could count on one hand how many times she slept through the night and Bug I can count on one hand how many times she hasn't slept through. Bug is still chewing away and is a drool factory, but I still give her tons of kisses. She rolled over yesterday from back to tummy, but has yet to repeat it. She "sings" every night and I just love listening to her.

Peanut is learning more and more everyday, especially in terms of vocabulary. "hug" is the latest to enter into everyday conversation as well as pretty much any word at the end of a sentence. "M, please pick up your cup", M: "cup", etc. She has become such a good eater and has passed her fussy stage.  Texture is still somewhat important, but not like earlier this year. Color has also been an obstacle we have conquered. She loves to dip turkey (or anything really) in ranch sauce, however once it touches her hands we can not continue eating until her hands have been wiped clean.

This week coming up is a busy one, I have dates from Saturday - Tuesday already scheduled which means it will be a good week. One is a showing and the other ones are just fun days with friends (& sisters!). For now, I'm off to tidy the linen closet. Oh one last thing.......

Happy Birthday Jay! (for tomorrow)

Another Day, Another Showing.....

So after 2 showings yesterday, one promising and one on the fence, we have another one tonight. This time it is a couple with a son. They have sold their house to a builder and are looking to stay in the same general area. They started looking at houses $40k-50k less than ours and are now approaching our price range. I know she is serious about it, but her husband may have another idea. His 2 requirements were that the price was low and that it had a double garage (which ours doesn't, our garage is only a single). That being said we'll see what happens. I still believe our most serious buyer was the second showing we had last night. There were 5 people that came to inspect the house and provide insight. Hopefully they will see our houses potential and get passed that there may be a few cracks and that it is not perfect. (come on, you are looking at a 50 year old house)

So far still waiting, but I hope to hear soon.....

Okay here's the deal....

Ok so instead of answering every one's question one by one, I figured it was time to "put it out there". J and I have listed our house and have been negotiating back and forth with one couple. I had some more interest in our home last night and showed it this afternoon during a lunch hour.

I have given the couple a deadline of Monday to make a solid offer with deposit through a lawyer to have a Dec. 1 possession.  Now that being said we could easily make Dec. 1 work if they didn't have things they wanted complete in their offer.  They don't want to take over our claim with the city, so it means we would need to fix the ceiling and walls from when the sidewalk and street were replaced this summer. It's not a big job, but it would mean finding someone to do it. We have to book a storage unit for our stuff and oh yeah, the big one, find somewhere to live!

We have been lucky, we were offered a place for December (thanks S & J) and a place for Jan - March (thanks mom & dad! - they'll be in Mexico for that time) then we could easily rent in Bissett until..... our build would be complete.

That's right J and I are seriously thinking about building, however until our house is sold, we are sitting in a holding pattern.  We do not want to commit to something until all our loose ends are tied up. I know that is not the traditional way of looking for houses, but that is something the bank has recommended and I understand why.

So this evening the couple is taking one more look and then hopefully we will have an answer soon.....

Monday, Bloody Monday

I am sitting on pins and needles waiting for Monday. In the mean time, I am making a visit tonight with my parents and in laws then tomorrow we have the couple coming for a final visit, then more waiting. But in the end at least I will know what's going on and can go from there...... But come on Monday....

I spoke too soon....

I hate the art of negotiation and J is even worse than I am at it. I have taken classes on the subject, flown to Toronto for a conference that focused on it, and was even evaluated for a case study based on my skills.  Yet somehow no matter how much "knowledge" I have about it, I lack confidence.  I go into negotiation scared.  I don't mind a confrontation, but would prefer to please everyone, so often I will "give in".  But today that stops..... Today I'm playing "hard ball".  I'm going back and telling them - shit or get off the pot. If they want to work with such tight deadlines, then I need an answer. Or at the very least a non-refundable deposit so we are not out any money for this. I need to make arrangements and with J home in a mere 2 weeks it means I need to start making them now. So wish me luck as this afternoon I need to step up and set deadlines.

The news is in.....

Final details to be discussed once we have met the lawyers and signed the paperwork......

just wanted to thank my sister (in law) and her hubby for opening up their home to us yesterday & beyond. I really am lucky in this situation to have family who welcomes me with open arms! you guys are generous and kind and we thank you tremendously!

Impatiently waiting

I hate waiting.... so to kill time let me tell you something.... I have an amazing best friend! He is kind, honest, funny, smart, good looking, and I am a better person because I am with him. He is selfless, empathetic, down to earth and realistic. He builds me up, keeps me real, sets goals, and thrives for perfection. He is the best dad I know to 2 beautiful little girls, and he keeps me smiling everyday. I can be myself when I am with him and I love him with all of my heart.

This time of year always makes me think of our engagement. It actually happened in November, but something about the fall colors always makes me think back to that day 3 years ago. I remember it like it was yesterday, sitting in our fireplace room when he got down on one knee.....

So today to try and focus on something other than waiting to hear, I will focus on my wonderful best friend and husband, J.

surprises!

Life is full of surprises! I'll leave it at that for now, but more details soon to come.......

What a face!

One down three to go!

It's going.....

Well! Its getting easier and she's starting to get it. Her morning has been consistent for days now, its the afternoon & evening that gets alittle mucked up. Short naps, often. Usually in the stroller cause I take Peanut to the park or for a walk everyday. All in all, I feel good about the progress, and know this was the right step for us.

My parents also return from their eastern getaway today. I'm looking forward to seeing them. They were gone 2 weeks, and in January they will be gone 3 months! They will miss my birthday, J's birthday and Peanut's birthday! It makes me sad, but I'm glad they are going to enjoy some nice warm weather.

J and I are really excited about the possibility of a new house.  He plays it cool to other people, but then spends his nights telling me of what he was thinking for landscaping, or the basement, or ......! it makes me happy that we are both working so hard to make this a reality. We will put the house up for sale in spring. i am meeting with the new house salesman to discuss time lines and deposits tomorrow.

I am spending the afternoon with my in laws then joining them for dinner. Peanut will be exhausted when we get home as she always is after playing with grams. She follows B around like a shadow and learns LOTS of new skills from her. (I never taught Peanut stairs, or getting off furniture, or the "I hear thunder" song, just to name a few) Peanut is starting to tell me more that she needs to use the washroom, but still hates sitting on the potty..... not sure I'm ready to tackle that yet......

In my free time, I've gotten addicted to pinterest.com.  (like I needed another thing) I spent a lot of time the other night reading quotes, getting home organization ideas, kids activities, and the list goes on!

Well that's life here for the week, onto the next!